INS(oev)IDE #10 - Mental Hurdle

This update is a look at a mental hurdle I am trying to get over and how my interactions in the street keep informing the future direction of this project.

Recently, a friend shared a post from a street photography account based in Vancouver that had striking similarities to soev. The similarities are not necessarily in photo composition or the subject matter, but rather in the approach to asking strangers for a photo.

Side-by-side comparison (Justin left, me, right)

Justin seems to be taking photos and videos in the downtown core (although he just recently posted a video from Commercial Drive), seawall, and maybe even Granville island from time to time. His photographs are quite different in style and composition from mine, they are much sharper and he uses a longer lens, which is great because his photos definitely have their own unique style, something we all aspire to. The people he chooses are also quite different and he seems to focus a lot on pets.

There are hundreds if not thousands of street portrait photographers out there, doing very similar projects, and at first glance, I thought “cool, glad he is capturing that demographic in that neighborhood”, and then I started watching some of his reels, and that’s where I saw it…

The most striking similarity between our two projects is in the way we approach our potential participants. Without him filming all of his interactions and putting them on reels, I’d have no idea, but after going through a couple of his posts, it was astonishing to see how similar our interactions were.

For the majority of the reels I viewed, he starts his approach the exact same as me; as I’ve mentioned a few times in interviews and articles “hey, sorry to bother you, I take photos in the neighborhood…”, and from there, a quick explanation of the project, couple photos, and then maybe a conversation to follow. They are sweet, and genuine, and it is obviously working out for him, as he has ten times the followers than I do, with barely any overlap in our audience. He is attracting a completely different demographic than me, and hats off to him for the efforts!

Since seeing this page and after my conversation with Lauren Sundstrom I’ve been going back and forth on the idea of integrating video into my project(s), even though up until this point, I’ve resisted. Lauren had mentioned in my interview with her after I asked what she thought of my long form essays… “no one reads anymore, you have to adapt to the future, people want TikTok, people want video”.

Some neighborhood wisdom.

On top of that, during the past couple of years, people have been telling me I should do something similar with my interactions on the street. When my friends walk down the street with me they often witness and overhear some of the funny, profound, or weird interactions I have while taking photos and interacting with locals I’ve taken photos of before. Even more recently, a photographer idol of mine (JJL) also mentioned something similar after I met him for the first time and we had a nice conversation “damn, you should be filming this kind of stuff, I bet people would watch it”, he said.

At this point, you may think to yourself, “buddy, the signs are clear, get moving on the reels/YouTube”, stop being so stubborn.

I know it’s obviously what people want, it would be easily transferable to TikTok, it could potentially help stimulate the IG algorithm to reach more people, and everyone around me keeps telling me to pursue this avenue…

So why haven’t I?

The reality is, I’ve definitely thought about it, even to the point where I practiced “dry runs” of using my camera as both video and photo, practicing how I’d transition between taking the photo and filming the subsequent interaction.

At the end of the day, I cannot bring myself to film the interactions on the street and it’s for multiple reasons, which if you’re willing to read on, I’m going to outline below.

First, the relationships I have been building over the last eight years have developed organically, without feeling the need to create content, and I appreciate that. The short and sweet interactions with people I see often are my way of slowly tending to those relationships, with no “transaction” involved the majority of the time, I don’t want them to feel like every time they see me, they have to be “on” in case they end up on my reels. Sometimes I take their photo, sometimes I don’t, no pressure. I enjoy saying hi, and catching up with people when I have the chance and I’d like to keep those personal, intimate and conversational interactions between me and the person I am taking a photo of between us. I think it’s a kind of a “sacred” thing that we share, and I want to keep it that way. These interactions I have are such great memories, they often are the reason I continue to take the time to do this project. It is still such an amazing experience when someone says “oh yea, I’ve been following you for a while now” or “oh my god, finally”, and especially, “wow, of course, you took my photo like six years ago”, after I snap their photo.

My goal for every interaction has always been that people walk away feeling confident in the way they look that day and proud of their interaction with a stranger (me) and I wouldn’t want someone to walk away thinking, “damn, what did I say there? Is he going to post that whole conversation on TikTok?”.

Second, I feel I would not be as natural with these interactions knowing they were being filmed constantly from a camera strapped to my chest. I’ve always wondered how I would feel if I saw someone approach me with the little go-pro lens strapped to their chest staring at me. I am shy enough as it is, all of these interactions with strangers still spike my heart rate, no matter how long I’ve been doing this for, adding the layer of having a camera running the entire time would add pressure I don’t want and a layer in between me and a genuine interaction with the person I am asking for a photo.

My HR data from my last day shooting on the Drive. The spikes always coincide with stopping someone for a photo.

All that being said, the last reason is that it has been fun to share some of these interactions in this series of writing I am doing, it gives me a filter to ensure it is something I want to be shared, and the reflective part of it allows it to become even more special. It also is a reward for those who have been following the project for a while and care to read these insights, without having the person in the interaction feel too self-conscious about what we were talking about as I spontaneously asked them for a photo on the street one day.

Although this Substack only gets read by about 3% of my Instagram followers, it is giving me a great opportunity to sit down and reflect, be grateful, and work on a new craft. In some circles, the general opinion that long form essays might be dead and that’s fine. I am enjoying the process, and will keep going down this path until another one emerges and I leave this behind.

I think a lot about Rick Rubin’s book when I am deciding which path to take with my creative endeavors. Finding and sharing quotes to keep inspired on my journey is something I will continue to do in this writing process. The one that really hit home with regards to next steps and filming my interactions came later in the book;

“If we second-guess our inner knowing to attempt to predict what others may like, our best work will never appear”.

The Interaction that Prompted this Piece

Last week, when I was out taking photos, I was heading to grab one more grocery item before calling it a day and behind a sandwich board at Moja on the corner, I saw two pairs of boots popping out from behind it. One of my main rules is not to disturb people while they are eating, but luckily, these two seemed to just be finishing their coffees and enjoying the sun that started to kiss the bench they were sitting on.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, I take photos…” I started giving my whole spiel, and they both looked at one another and started laughing. I stopped immediately and the self-conscious part of my brain started to try and remember if I had taken their photo before, maybe it was recent? Maybe they said no?

“Uh, what’s so funny?” I enquired…

“We got ready this morning literally talking about how we were hoping to run into you”. One of them explained.

@giannalavallee & @mikaelaamtv after our interaction. Spring ‘24. soev.

I of course went bright red, blushing from ear to ear. This doesn’t happen often, but it has become more frequent in the last few months. I snapped the photo’s, had a quick chat, and we were on our way. It was short, sweet, and pretty funny.

This was one of the interactions that would have been great “content”, it was cute, and definitely an ego stroke. At the same time though, I was also very satisfied that I didn’t film it, as we had a super nice interaction, I met two lovely people, and will hopefully get to shoot them again in the future, where we can continue to develop a new relationship without the need for extracting content.

Conclusions

When I was first starting this project, an elderly lady told me something along the lines of; “it’s so great you’re doing this work, it is usually the next step in the progress of a neighborhood, street photographers elevate the culture of a city”.

At the time I didn’t think much of it and even today, a lot of the time I still feel like I’m on the periphery of the “cool kids”, just documenting, maybe not necessarily “contributing”.

As I keep exploring, photographing, and having these conversations though, it is starting to become evident, that maybe she had a point and it gives me the fuel and confidence to stay in the stills, the writing, and the slow process of building this project, organically, photo-by-photo.

P.S.

I am not writing this in saying “I’ll never do video content!”, in fact, I am constantly thinking about ways to integrate video, at this point though, filming my interactions is not going to be it. I am open to challenges, updates, and growth constantly.

When I first started playing around with the idea of doing the GENEs interviews, I thought it would make a great YouTube series, and I would still pursue that if the right collaborators came through, but I am really enjoying the interviewing, photography, and writing side of it, so I am equally as content continuing on down this path.

Something that’s been inspiring me a lot lately is Sam Youkillis, the way he uses an iPhone to capture beautifully mundane situations is amazing. Not quite what I can accomplish, but definitely something I have my eye on.

I am open to suggestions on how to integrate video beyond filming the people I meet, DMs are always open.