Semi-Scientific Guide to Commercial Drive Pizza

I ate every pizza-by-the-slice and studied the offerings on Commercial Drive in Spring 2025. A four criteria data collection will outlined and followed by graphs for each slice.

DiPartures is my chance to write about things that are a far departure from the SoEV project which has (thankfully) brought most of my readers to this Substack.

If you are new to this Substack, you can check out my other sections INS(oev)IDE, where I write about the stories of being a street photographer and some commentary on clothing and style or GENEs, interviews about clothing with the stylish people I’ve met in the neighborhood.

INTRODUCTION

One of my most popular Substack posts to date is my “Semi-Scientific Guide to Commercial Drive Cookies…that no one asked for but I’m giving you anyway.” As I mentioned in both the intro and outro of that piece, I never really intended to write food reviews, and I had no plans to follow it up. However, soon after posting that article, people began requesting a similar project—but with pizza.

Considering this is a “semi-scientific guide,” I figured I’d start with a short resume to support my qualifications. While I’m not a “certified expert” or classically trained in any way, I think my pizza experience makes me more than capable of offering a thoughtful review of the slices available on Commercial Drive.

The Resume:

• I’m of Italian heritage—birthday parties and holidays almost always included some kind of pizza on the table.

• I started working at a pizza-focused (kids) restaurant (Choo-Choo Charlie’s) when I was 15, in Ontario. I began as a dishwasher and food runner but eventually moved into the kitchen where I focused on the pizza. By the end of my time there, I was managing orders and prepping much weekly dough and sauce myself.

• I worked at Jasper Pizza Place for four summer seasons, eventually moving from server to front-of-house manager.

• Most importantly: in 2019, I lost a bet that required me to eat 365 slices of pizza in a year—which I completed with many days to spare.

• I estimate I’ve walked over 3,000 km on Commercial Drive over the last eight years.

The purpose of this guide is to break down each pizza slice available on Commercial Drive and offer insights into where you might find the one that’s right for you.

For those unfamiliar with the area, Commercial Drive in East Vancouver has long been known as the city’s “Little Italy.” It became home to many Italian and Portuguese immigrants following World War II. Today, the neighborhood is one of the most diverse in the city, but it still carries its Italian roots proudly, with numerous cafés, pizza joints, red/white/green crosswalks, and the annual June street festival “Italian Day”.

METHODOLOGY:

For this project, I chose to focus exclusively on places where you can buy pizza by the slice, located on or very near Commercial Drive. There are more pizza spots in the neighborhood (Industry Apizza, Marcello’s, Via Tevere, Famoso, Frank’s, Sunrise, La Tana), but since they don't offer pizza by the slice, they weren’t included in this round.

That decision was intentional—by-the-slice pizza is how I usually consume pizza on the Drive. I’m often walking, photographing, or on the move, so grabbing one or two slices and carrying on fits the rhythm of how I experience the area. If there’s interest, I may follow this up with a full dine-in review series in the future.

For consistency, I ordered a cheese slice from each spot—no toppings, no extras. I generally ate slices between 11:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m., and paid between $4.00 and $6.00 per slice (including a 15% tip). I didn’t include prices below, since they were all in roughly the same range.

Like the cookie guide, I broke down each slice into four main “attributes” for scoring: cheese, sauce, crust, and balance. I recorded my thoughts in real time, either typing or speaking them into ChatGPT during or immediately after eating. This helped me collect my notes while the slice was fresh—both literally and figuratively. (With the cookie guide, I was handwriting everything, and later had to re-interpret what I meant.)

All slices were eaten at or very near the place they were purchased.

The restaurants included in this study (listed South to North) are:

• Yummy Slice

• Uncle Fatih’s

• Megabite

• La Pache

• Fire

• Four Brothers

• Auntie Jen’s

• Don’t Argue (Soccavo)

• Pizza Garden

ESTABLISHING MY BIAS & ATTRIBUTE BREAKDOWN:

As with the cookie guide, I’m not naming a “best” slice or creating a ranking. This is simply an analysis of each slice based on my own preferences and observations. I really did try to approach this believing that “all slices are beautiful.” Unfortunately, as you’ll see, that didn’t hold up.

To give this some context, I think it’s important to lay out my own personal biases—what I consider the ideal slice—and pay homage to a place that defined it for me: the original Don’t Argue on Main Street.

There’s a lot of nostalgia wrapped up in that memory. The minimalist aesthetic, the staff, the music, the way the sun hit the patio just after 5 p.m.—and, of course, the pizza. My wife and I went often, both before and after moving to Vancouver, and I visited frequently on photo walks. During the year I had to eat 365 slices of pizza, Don’t Argue was closing its doors under the original ownership. Needless to say, I went a lot to take it all in.

To me, those slices were perfect.
They had:
a) quality ingredients
b) a dough made with care and long fermentation
c) perfect ratios of sauce, crust, cheese, and oil
d) a crisp but forgiving bake, perfect for folding

People often say pizza is “simple,” but simplicity only works when every part is done well in harmony with one another.

Attribute Breakdown:

Cheese

I like good coverage—whether it’s slices of mozzarella in a more Neapolitan or Margherita style, or shredded low-moisture. Every bite should have some cheese.
It should be fresh and well-cooked, with small bubbles or light browning. Too much cheese will overpower the slice, too little feels like a mistake.

Sauce

I prefer a sauce that’s been processed or cooked down—not the ultra-fresh, chunky kind with visible skins or watery consistency.
The tomatoes should be the star, but I’m open to hints of herbs, onion, or garlic if balanced well.

Crust

Base: Should be browned, not burnt. Thin but not floppy. Crisp enough on the bottom to support the slice, but with chew up top to absorb a bit of sauce.

Edge: I like an airy crust with chew and some oily crispness—like it was touched by butter, lard, or a hot pan. The OG Don’t Argue nailed this every time.

Balance

This is where everything comes together—or doesn’t. A good slice has harmony. Too much cheese ruins melt and hides the sauce. Too much sauce destroys the crust. Too much crust and it’s just bread. Too little of anything, and will obliviously feel like something is missing.

I didn’t assign a score to “balance”, but I’ve included notes under each chart.

Visualization:

To help make this a visually-driven report, I used radial charts to display my scores for each slice.
Each chart shows my assessment of cheese, sauce, and crust, with an overlay of my “perfect slice” for comparison.

Rather than over-analyze each slice, I’m letting the visuals do the heavy lifting—along with a few summary notes. Hopefully it helps you find your own go-to slice on the Drive.

RESULTS

Yummy Slice

Felt more like a garlic finger than a pizza, with herby notes and a white butter base that caught me off guard but worked. The slice held up better than expected for what it was.

Uncle Fatih’s

A reliable late-night or post game slice with soft airiness and just enough structure to carry the experience. Not a standout, but familiar and comforting in a way that makes it hard to hate. Always loved the sesame seed border on the sauce-crust interface. Sauce is well seasoned.

Megabite

Standard quick commuter slice in the base of the skytrain station. Had redeeming qualities, kind of reminded me of Uncle Fatihs in many ways. First time visiting, I imagine they make a consistent slice based on the appearance of the pizzas.

La Pache

A clean, new-school hybrid slice that tries to bridge Neapolitan and NY with some success. The bitterness from the crust (happens when cooking HOT) didn’t ruin it, but once you noticed it, it lingered.

Fire

One of a few slices I didn’t finish because the crust was aggressively chewy and the whole thing felt like a fridge mistake. Easily the worst slice of the project so far—challenged my belief that all pizza is good. I see people eating there all the time, so I am hoping I just caught them on a bad day.

4 Brothers

There was something off about the cheese, like it had been sitting out too long, and once you noticed it, you couldn’t un-smell it. Crunchy cheese texture was fun, but not enough to carry the whole thing. Couldn’t eat more than a couple bites because of the off putting smell. Again, maybe caught them on a bad day?

Don’t Argue (Soccavo)

THICK: Since they offer it by the slice, I thought I would include it: A solid nonna-style slice with a great reheat and solid texture throughout, but a touch of bitterness from the crust char kept it from being elite. Would like to see more cheese of course, but with the volume of dough, keeping the cheese sporadic is kinda nice. Still, it felt purposeful and nostalgic, which went a long way. I always like to mix one of these in.

NY STYLE: Very close to the original Don’t Argue. The quality is always very good, the balance is great, and the ingredients are of high quality. For me, there is just something missing about the crust that has not quite hit the level of the original. Overall though, my go to slice on the drive right now.

Pizza Garden

Felt thoughtful without trying too hard—new age Neapolitan with restraint. Nothing felt out of place and the textures were dialed in. I’ve had a bad experience a little while ago here, but they have redeemed themselves since.

Auntie Jen’s Slice

More known for their stromboli’s, their slice was not the most balanced. Too much cheese, crust was weirdly crunchy and soft at the same time. Bit of a stink to the cheese, wasn’t sure if it was old cheese or low quality parm.

ANALYSIS & CONCLUSIONS

At the end of the day, pizza—like cookies, style, or music—is a deeply personal thing. What’s too cheesy for me might be your ideal bite. My hope is that this guide doesn’t serve as a ranking or a hit list, but as a small map to help you figure out your own preferences, or maybe just give you an excuse to walk a little farther down the Drive. I didn’t set out to make this project, but now that it’s here, I kind of love that I did, I may even continue it to other parts of the neighborhood, or continue adding full pizzas to the list.

There are good slices, there are bad slices, and there are slices that taste just right on a random Tuesday. If you try any of these and disagree, that’s kind of the point.